How to not lose weight fast

I've formulated a 5-step plan to a svelte-er me.  Here it is:

Instructions:

Do each of the following steps for 2 weeks. Start with step 1, then add step 2, and so on.

The Steps:

1. Drink 8 glasses of water or more each day.
   
2. Eat 3 servings of fruit each day.
   
3. Eat 3 servings of green veggies each day.
   
4. Eat lean protein at 2-3 meals each day.
   
5. Exercise for at least 30 minutes at least 3 times per week.
   

My thinking is that I've failed miserably with anything that requires me to:

1. remove foods from my diet
   
2. restrict foods in my diet
   
3. eat only certain foods
   
4. eat prepackaged foods
   
5. eat foods at certain times of the day
   

So I will focus on adding goodness. And that goodness will live in harmony with my quarter pounders with cheese.